Girlfail45

HELP!!!!!!!! Was I born with a broken body or just a mouth doomed to speak in broken words -- because I keep falling down and scraping my knees, black and blue, and I no longer hunt for words in the night so please don't turn my head around to see behind. Do tell me though, how can I restrain my hunger for flesh, how do I attain my unstable, chaotic writing with a stable life? Nothing is coming to my mind and The Cure is playing and I am sitting at airport Gate E10. I am yelling at myself over and over and over in my head, so fast like static whirring on a broken TV because I don't want him to read this but I keep seeing everything through his eyes. This is a very special kind of voyeuristic self torture. A big and devious loud smile. Maybe you'd like to help me?

Well, maybe nobody can help me. Robert Smith keeps singing "Whenever I'm alone with you" and it makes me want to die because the hot sun, and the hotter jet engines billow outside into the nothingness of the still Boston air and I am longing to get away from the anxious drummer who patters, no, more like bangs inside my bones. Oh and Okay Great, now Radiohead is playing so I have to think about choking myself out with my wired headphones chord. I think that I see you everywhere and I'm not even sure why because I think I hate you. Or I think I'm supposed to.

There is a man sitting in front of me with a mustard yellow backpack who is on what I can only assume is a very, oh yes very, important business call. I can tell it is very important because he keeps pacing around and looking at his watch and doing those loud obnoxious sighs. He sits with his legs crossed and then they blare a name on the loud speaker and he picks everything up and starts to run and I think I would find the whole thing a little amusing if it weren't for your Grandfather's watch and your musk and the loose hang of your cross body bag and your hollow eyes that my therapist said looked dead and the way your smile grows ten times in size when someone makes you laugh oh and the way you laugh, it sounds like magic, and the way you lie around on the grass and also the way you lie. I'm seeing things again, but I think I'd like to get to know you now.